"Oiled Robbers"

"Oiled Robbers."

I muttered those words when I was 5 years old. I was with my mom on the way to her OBGYN appointment as she checked on the progress of my soon-to-be born little brother. The Dr's office was on Lewis Ave about 53rd street, and in the distance you could see the tallest tower of Oral Roberts's latest obsession - the "City of Faith" hospital.

A little background here - we all know old Oral was a manic megalomaniac if there ever was one. Everything revolved around him. The university with his name. The Medical school. And most importantly - his Ministry. The hospital the ministry helped fund was to be his grand achievement. Three towers, each 777 feet tall, all with gaudy gold-toned accents everywhere from the windows to the carpet in the reception halls. Millions of dollars were spent, but somewhere along the line, the money ran out. The first tower isn't quite the full height - 648 feet and 60 stories tall. The other two towers? Well, they didn't quite make it. Both were topped out at between 20 and 30 stories, well short of the intended height. See picture...

Eventually, the medical school ran out of money and lost it's accreditation leaving Oral and the family a gold, er, white elephant of epic proportions. Since then it has been leased out to a myriad of ventures from The Cancer Treatment Centers of America, telemarketing firms (CFS anyone?), architecture and engineering firms to wedding receptions on the top floor of the tall tower. (Note floors 58 and 59 - off limits to the general public... that's Oral's lair... er, office.)

Back to that day in the hot summer of 1980... as we crested the hill and the top of the City of Faith came in to view, I exclaimed to my mom: "LOOK MOM! OILED ROBBERS!!!!"

Mom choked back a snicker that as a five year old, I did not understand. As I grew older and more cynical, I came to realize that my innocent comment that day was so true. Little did I know how true it was.

First, In 1987, Oral made his infamous plea to the masses - "I need $8 million dollars, or God is calling me home." Uhhh... yeah Oral - this plea coincided with the closure of the hospital (that was some $25+ million in debt.) Twenty plus year later, you're still alive and kickin'.

Over the years since then, things were quiet, relatively speaking. But in the last few months, things started to simmer.

First - the accusations of members of the Roberts family funneling money from the ministry to their own expense accounts surfaced.

Then came the lawsuits by three former professors who "blew the whistle" on the family funds funneling. They were canned for "insubordination," hence the wrongful termination suits. (Note - at least one prof is now teaching again at ORU after a settlement last month.)

Now THIS. We're talking Billions that have been funneled from the ministry to the Roberts family and other university/ministry board members. Board members who until Hobby Lobby founder Mart Green's conditions for a $70 million dollar gift to the university required their resignations, were serving as board members for the ministry and as members of the board of regents for the university. If all of the accusations are true, imagine the legal ramifications of bilking millions of people who thought their money was going to ministry activities such as feeding children in third world countries or funding education grants.

Methinks the IRS will be in town shortly to conduct a full audit of everyone's ledgers, especially since the university reported a nearly $4 million shortfall in their 2006 filing with the IRS.

As Sarah knows - I believe in God, Jesus Christ, the Ten Commandments, etc. I believe in doing what's right. But I cannot stand evangelical ministers. Especially the ones who want money so they can "serve god better." I don't believe in tithing either. I'll give to the church out of kindness, and as long as I know where my money is going.

I remember a part of Bono's monologue in the live version of "Bullet the Blue Sky" (off the Rattle & Hum CD) that sums up my thoughts about this whole mess:

"...I can't tell the difference between ABC News, 'Hill Street Blues' and a preacher on the 'Old Time Gospel Hour', stealing money from the sick, the old. Well the GOD I BELIEVE IN ISN'T SHORT OF CASH MISTER!"

RW